Within, ramblings about creating…

Within, ramblings about creating…

The self and a battle within to figure out what it is that we truly believe, and what is real. The lingering weight of everything as it is balanced in the mind. Who am I and what am I here for? What’s truth? Is it the poetic bridge of hope we create with our goals and dreams? Or the painful logic of “realistic expectations” to not expect a thing?

A Self portrait

So, why do we create?

About 45,000 years ago, if it’s all legit, a creature indulged in what can appear as a wild act, willfully chose to draw on a cave wall. Out of all the things a surviving being could be doing, they sketched a pig in an Indonesian cave preserving the what seems to be the first art piece in history. It makes me wonder what went through their mind? Did they feel the same thrill I feel when creating?

Within (photography, 2011)The image above was made in a dark time of my life, though I wouldn’t have known it—the irony. To this day what I like is the way my hands look upon my eyes as my hair flows beneath. It symbolizes our willingness sometimes to blind ourselves to the reality in front of us. 

And what’s in front of us often has to become unveiled too. We really gotta see ourselves as the nature we see, the animals we are, the creature that must create in order to express…that being our ultimate purpose.

 As I look at nature and it’s constant desire to create, procreate, destroy and renew, I realize that I too am “it”, that you and I are both part of nature and nature itself. 

Subconscious (acrylic painting, 2018)Sometimes we are blessed/lucky/meant to experience something in order to learn something else. The painting shown above "Subconscious", was seen as a dream, that would be experienced again in a different way. To me it meant the union of myself with everything around me, the moment we all become one.

A self portrait

I enjoy depicting myself in other worldly characters, other states of mind; different versions. Its fun!

 We create because it’s naturally what our instincts express. 

Amor, painting

Sometimes we realize how everything is so very temporal, how truly what matters is love..however cliche that sounds. And love is not ruthless, neither is it contained.


(to be carried on…)

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